Posted on 17 Comments

Reversing Our Decision

Me holding our second reversal baby: Sweet Chloebug.

Scott and I really struggled with the decision on how many children to have. I think it is a bigger decision than deciding who you will marry. Let me explain. Who you marry will affect many (especially yourself) but how many children you choose to have determines if someone is born! And if you decide to let that someone be born then you are deciding for generations of others to be born! That is insane. That is scary. That is sobering. And yet, so many flippantly decide to stop having children because, quite frankly, “they’re DONE!”.

I remember vividly standing in the kitchen doing dishes when Scott and I were in the middle of deciding to have a vasectomy reversal or not and I said to the Lord: “I just don’t feel like I am wise enough to decide if and when life should come into this world.” I also felt this resounding statement in my mind: “Katie, never make a decision based on fear.”  That was a turning point for me…

I have what is called hyperemesis, you can read about it here. Basically I am ridiculously sick throughout my entire pregnancy. I puke… A LOT and I am always nauseous, up till the moment they come out (I puke even through out labor). This is difficult. When Scott and I got married we said we would let God plan our family… that was before I had ever been pregnant and experienced what felt like death… ironically while my body was producing life!

After that first pregnancy I was terrified to get pregnant ever again! “I can’t keep doing this!” I thought. “How am I going to home school and have kids back to back and be sick 24 hours a day?!”

Fear and human rational took over and Scott got a vasectomy. We never really felt perfect peace about it but we didn’t see the alternative as a possibility… at the time.

Then we moved to a new town and became part of a new church with some families that let God plan their families and we were convicted… again. We really felt there would be a lot of support here if we chose to have the reversal and so we did!

Charis (pronounced: care-is…sounds like Paris with a C) was born in February of 2013 (14 months after the reversal). Her name means grace and we really do see her as God’s grace in our lives. She is the first of our reversal babies. Right now I am pregnant with our third reversal baby!! My pregnancies have gotten better since I have tried many different things to find what works best to combat the nausea. I am still nauseated 24 hours a day through out the whole pregnancy but I only throw up a few times. One of my very favorite mornings is when I wake up after having a baby and I don’t feel nauseated! Best ever!

So thankful that we were able to reverse our decision and we are excited to meet whatever children the Lord decides to bless us with! I can’t believe that sweet little Charis, Chloe and Noah wouldn’t be here if we had stuck with our initial decision!

Feel free to message me or comment with any thoughts or questions. I know this is a sensitive subject and my goal is not to offend but to encourage those who are considering reversing their decision.

Look at my beautiful reversal babies below! Can’t believe we almost gave them up. (I am sure I will flood my blog with pictures of Noah, our 3rd reversal baby, soon enough. He is due the end of July 2016).

If you liked this post be sure to check out “Why Back To The Future Made Me Want More Kids”. 


Have you checked out my husband’s book, Marriage God’s Way?

17 thoughts on “Reversing Our Decision

  1. […] Here’s the good news: By God’s grace this decision was ‘reversible’ for us. Sadly for others, that hasn’t been the case. So after much prayer and support from our wonderful church, Scott went ahead and had a reversal!  […]

  2. I’m pregnant with my 1st and was only sick for 5 weeks. Your most accurate description of it would be that it felt like death. I am already iffy about that second child my husband and I agreed on. I’m terrified! Congrats on your little ones!

  3. What! I didn’t know this! I think that’s an amazing story.

  4. Could you explain more about letting God plan your family? I don’t understand.

    My husband works 16 hours a day is an introvert and tries hard to give all to the kids but the second they are asleep he is exhausted. Meaning nothing left for anyone else. I’m at home with them all day, homeschool one of three and am up till midnight just doing normal housekeeping (I do everything). I suffer from several medical problems (not reproductive related) we think 4 is our limit knowing all this why would you say I should not to use methods to prevent future pregnancies? Didn’t God give knowledge in creating the options of prevention (I am Opposed to abortion we are only talking about preventing pregnancy) just like cancer treatments or medicating mental illness. I’m not asking for an argument; I’m genuinely curious and concerned that somehow I have the wrong idea as I only want to do Gods will. and I believe he gives us desernment and my husband had set a limit also. Thanks!

    1. Hello Lorraine,

      For my husband and I, letting God plan the family means that we trust He will not create life in my womb without perfect knowledge. I can use all sorts of human reason and justifying as to why we shouldn’t have more (and people have volunteered their thoughts on this many times) but I just don’t think the Author of life will knit together a little baby in my womb if it’s not what is best for me, the baby and our family. So, we have decided to not use any form of birth control or “natural family planning”. We leave the planning up to Him… His will be done. Every husband is different and I happen to be married to a man with the same conviction. I don’t know what it would be like to have a husband not on the same page in this area… it would be hard and I would just pray. I appreciate your comment! Please let me know if I didn’t answer your question. For my husband and I, to do God’s will, means to leave the family planning up to Him, according to His will, His timing and His spacing. I also want to briefly clarify that it’s not that I WANT a bunch of children. My flesh doesn’t want any because they take my time, my energy and plans. But I just want everyone who is supposed to be here to be here. Thanks again for stopping by!

      Also, be sure to check out this post:

  5. […] p.s. Noah is our third reversal baby! Praise God that we reversed that decision. So sad to imagine a world without Charis, Chloe and Noah. Read our story here. […]

  6. I understand what you’re saying but only to an extent. We use NFP, have been married (and active) for a year, and have not had any surprises. Haha. That being said, if it is God’s will that we have a child right now, I am all for it. We both want a big family in the future, but right now we are both in the start of our careers and it’s just not great timing for us. If I were to find out I was pregnant, however, it would still be a blessing. Just a bit more inconvenient, if I’m being honest.

    With all of that being said: we are still using a form of “protection” just without hormones or any additives to the event, if you will, because we want to be intentional about our children, when we have them, and what we are free to do with them when they come about. Does that make sense?

    Many people who are all about “family un-planning” seem to just have no direction in it, which concerns me. Children are a blessing, yes, and should be looked at as such no matter what time of life they pop up in, HOWEVER, don’t you think that such a precious thing should have the care and attention of intentionality? For instance, if we were to throw all of our planning out the window and ended up having a child right now, we wouldn’t have much money saved up and I wouldn’t be able to homeschool them like I desire to, because I’d probably have to work to supplement our income – at least for a while, anyway. There are multiple other things involved, but that’s just one example.

    I think people should be very careful when talking about this subject. It’s very touchy and different individuals, and families, have different convictions and beliefs about it as well as needs and wants.

    1. Thank you for your thoughts! Seems we will differ 🙂 I will just say that I don’t feel my husband and I have the infinite wisdom it takes to determine if and when life (life that goes into eternity) begins. We will leave that in the hands of the Maker. <3

    2. Firstly to say that this is totally a matter which is for your husband as head of the family and you as his wife to determine in prayer.

      But I agree with Katie, for us it is a simple matter that whilst we have the choice as to whether we marry or not, within marriage we believe that it is up to God when and if to bless us with the gift of new life. We found that by using NFP we were seeking to say to God ‘we want to be intimate’ but please don’t trouble us with a child – which I felt was a sin in thought if not deed.

  7. Thank you for your wonderful story. My husband and I are Catholic so we have never considered artificial birth control in any circumstances but we have used NFP in the past.

    After much prayer and thought we are now convinced that this was against Gods plan for us and in sin. It is for God to decide to create new life of not – not for us. God bless

    1. Wow! what a testimony! thank you for sharing!

      1. I think it is really important that all Christian women evaluate and pray on this subject. It is an area where it is appropriate for us to minister (under our husband’s guidance) to each other and offer encouragement and reassurance.

        I appreciate that in obedience to their husband many women are in physical relationships which involve contraception, but I really don’t think that it’s use is something which any Christian women (of whatever denomination) should see as part of God’s plan, or design for us as women.

  8. May I ask whether your husband deals with the morality of contraception in his ministry – I understand that increasingly Christians of all denominations are questioning it.

    1. He did preach a sermon on children and had a lesson that said: barrenness should never be chosen. He did a whole marriage and family series you should check out!

      1. I do think that couples generally should be taught that contraception is not a morally neutral choice, and that all Christian Churches condemned it until the 1930’s and the rise of feminism.

        I love that he concentrates on ‘barrenness’ because I really think that women should understand that to use drugs or IUD’s to make themselves barren, or worse so that their womb rejects life already conceived goes against every purpose and design for which God made us as women and is a direct rejection of his will for our body.

  9. This blessed me immeasurably! I have 5 under 8 & God laid trusting him with our family size to him when I got diagnosed with a blood disorder that I need to combat with daily shots while pregnant. I am severely nauseous/sick being pregnant & I’ve had fear& doubts. But, I can not deny God touching my heart about this issue at an altar one Sunday. It’s not easy, but I know I’ll see God’s glory in my weakness. He has a plan bigger than this vessel! These gifts are his children & I’m privileged to bring them up in his ways. -Jessica

    1. So glad you were encouraged!!!

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